Sports News Story
Judge: Hugh Bernreuter
Places:
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1st- Anthony Clark Jr. (Grand Rapids Community College)
Judge comments:
Solid, well-written and well-edited story. Nothing flashy but solid writing describing the game and season. Very good job of getting quotes from multiple sources, including athletes. Very nice job. Congratulations to the writer and editor.
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2nd- Kaia Zimmerman (Grand Rapids Community College)
Judge comments:
Comment not available.
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3rd- Julie Newell (Lansing Community College)
Judge comments:
Comment not available.
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Honorable Mention-Micah Mabey (Northwestern Michigan College)
Judge comments:
Noun-pronoun agreement errors. Company is not a "they". Ages are always numeric. Paragraphs regarding political or "inclusive" or "platforms" for speaking feel out of place in a story about a "climbing" business. Overall, good story. But I never got the connection with the college. Is it near the campus? Are they offering discounts to students? Are there classes designed for college students? Why is this in a college paper?
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Honorable Mention-RJ Hunt (Washtenaw Community College)
Judge comments:
Comma mistakes, grammar mistakes. Nice work getting quotes, definitely enhances the story. Either missing a quotes mark or one added incorrectly. Off use of quotes / quote marks in sixth and seventh graphs, needed to be edited better. Over uses the word "you". It was unnecessary. I was more interested in the little note at the end of the story regarding e-sports. Was e-sports treated different during the pandemic? Could have made for an interesting story.
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Honorable Mention- Brian Bloom (UCC)
Judge comments:
Boring lede. Nothing interesting that would entice me to continue reading. Good job getting quotes from multiple sources. Nice update for baseball season, but overall pretty bland. Needed to focus on something unique, maybe how team has dealt with pandemic. Has it been tough play with the limited attendance? Instead all I get is that the team is good, they have good players and COVID-19 has canceled some games. Well-written, but needed more interesting angle.
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Honorable Mention- Abbey Peters (UCC)
Judge comments:
A story on Kelsey Kipp without telling to Kelsey? Huge opportunity missed. Was everything taken off a press release? It appears like the reporter re-wrote a press release. This could have been a great story.. An all-American in the 1st year of bowling? Incredible. But failing to get comments from Kipp and focus on her achievement dooms this story. It was well-written, but the potential for a better story was unfulfilled.
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Honorable Mention- Lillian Grantham (Henry Ford College)
Judge comments:
Awkward paragraphs that interspersed quotes with non-quotes. Makes it confusing, unreadable and too long. Need to separate into 2 or 3 smaller graphs. Really, really needed a quote from Moya Jones- the Player of the Year! But no comment?? She should have been the main focus of the story. Good story, but it missed some obvious angles. Desperately needed quotes from Jones. And the awkward paragraphs with quotes make it cumbersome to read. Needed better editing.
